People have been asking if I feel any older. I think the wisest answer is to shake my head and give a big teethy grin. That's not really how I feel. I'm only eighteen, but sometimes I feel much older than that.
Sometimes when I am putting on my makeup in the morning, I wonder when all these trails got on my face. I wonder when my skin started to show how I felt. Or when my knees started to go shakity-shake. Sometimes I feel old like a mother who's already let herself go. Or old like the peaches bruising in a bowl in my kitchen.
Sam, sometimes I can feel myself getting older.
And it feels like I've skipped this whole stage in my life. Sometimes it feels like I'm dying already. And sometimes that scares me.
Sometimes I wonder how all these years escaped me. And I wonder how many more will.
Sometimes when I am putting on my makeup in the morning, I wonder when all these trails got on my face. I wonder when my skin started to show how I felt. Or when my knees started to go shakity-shake. Sometimes I feel old like a mother who's already let herself go. Or old like the peaches bruising in a bowl in my kitchen.
Sam, sometimes I can feel myself getting older.
And it feels like I've skipped this whole stage in my life. Sometimes it feels like I'm dying already. And sometimes that scares me.
Sometimes I wonder how all these years escaped me. And I wonder how many more will.
Sam, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever look 18.
So tired I relinquished everything
Fell underneath the flood
Fell underneath the flood
Love, Sam
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