nobody can tell us what the future is and what utensils does one eat it with.

i mean, i don't.

I make speeches in my head but there's really nothing

right to say. All we can do is keep close stand watch and

make sure you know how much love is here, and will always be

There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good.

I do not love you as if you were salt rose or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms,

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers.

Thanks to your love a certain fragrance,

risen darkly from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride,

so I love you because I know no other way than this:

So close that your hand on my chest is my hand

So close that your eyes close and I fall asleep.

I have to go back to my roots. i'm too busy for anything while i'm not getting anything done.

I want to go kitchen supplies shopping and order extra thick milkshakes and sit in the dark and watch the rain come down and eventually fall asleep (it's raining right now).

suddenly life is slow. and i don't want it to be. i want the wild rapids of yesterdays. i don't know how else to describe it. but bacon wrapped hot dogs and totoro hats and beer money from emptied beds and pockets and cushions- -and beaches and pasta and wine and mystery notes- -and singing and dancing and humming and returning to dancing, only to Greece, in half-sleep- -waking and sleeping and waking and sleeping and spooning and touching- -and kissing and eating and talking and looking and walking and smoking- -and loving and hating and waiting and waiting and watching- -and ticking and ticking and listening and wanting- -and spinning and leaning and sitting and eating- -and smiling and burning and laughing and talking- -and learning and listening and finding and hoping- -and knowing and grabbing and taking and doing- -and seeing, oh seeing, i loved all the feeling

los angeles never felt like this much of a vacation