words of insight for the day:

life is weird

maybe it's time to get off

don't let our youth go to waste

I need a walk by the flowers
Let some of it shimmer off ...
Looks like nobody could take your place
And I could bleed in sympathy with you
On those days
And I could drink up everything you have
Don't let it go to waste

SIU MAI BLUES

two dollars for three dumplings in the rain

today:

The days are some kind of fucked up narrative I have no say in.

how it feels:

I got shivers on my own, but

how do you make a hole a home?

(i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens; only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side

Of the road, turn out the lights, get out and look up at the sky

And I do this to remind me that I'm really, really tiny

In the grand scheme of things, and sometimes this terrifies me

this is gross but i love it all the same

Can you understand being alone so long

you would go out in the middle of the night

and put a bucket into the well

so you could feel something down there

tug at the other end of the rope?

thank you, for not dismissing me

or my crying

That is the basic problem... you're waiting for me... I'm not there... I arrive... I enter the room... that's when I really start to exist for you... But I existed before that... I had thoughts... I may have been suffering... So the problem is to show you alive, thinking of me,and at the same time, to see me alive by virtue of that very fact.

We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure, but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless furnace of this world. We should give thanks that the end had magnitude. We must admit there will be music despite everything. I'm sorry

THIS IS NEW

THIS IS THE NEW

THE NEW ME

THE NEW THEM

THE NEW US

I CARE LESS

I ONLY HONOR THIS

NOW, NOW NOTHING ELSE

NOTHING HAPPENS

I loosen my body for this

PERSISTENT

theres not much else to say.

You talk to me with words, and I look at you with feelings.

how i feel.

Lately,

I've caught myself with unknown smiles, I've

found myself trying new dance moves when I thought I was just walking down the hall.

But,

why then do I still see myself as a walking corpse when I wake up in the morning?

blah.

MAYBE I LISTEN TO TOO MANY LOVE SONGS

I heard a girl today

she was talking about how she wanted some song

played at her wedding

and how ya know, she really loved it

and all

is it strange?

most days I hear things and

I think, this would be perfect to play at my funeral

and, I just keep makin' those little lists in my head

"ba-dum-dum-dum,

oh yes, this really sounds quite nice"

seriously, listen

I don't know who I am

or what I'm doing and

my system is shutting down.

I used to like this world

swirling in all its nonsense

things used to surprise me

sprout from the earth like

wildflowers

I used to have so much faith in it

that things turn around, people come

around, or that people come at all

And

I knew I was waiting, but

it was okay

I used to like this world

with all its headaches

stomachaches

neckaches, handaches

But now this Nonsense

it's just nonsense

And it doesn't mean anything

but nights with bad sleep

and dreams of new homes

Yeah I don't like surprises anymore

Not until the good ones start comin' back

He says "I’m so lost, not at all well"

Do as done after there was nothing left to be

Well, turned out I’d been following him and he’d been following me

Do as done after it was over

We were just two lovers crying on each other's shoulders

why is it so dark out today?

there doesn't seem to be a sun or a sky at all.