Dear Sam,

"I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable. "

Haha, but let me tell you. i heard a story about a man who had a cage the size of a wall in his house, filled with exotic birds who would sing to him in his bedroom through a vent in the wall and he had fantastic arctic wolves as pets also and i heard another story about an abandoned mansion in the forest from the 1920's that you had to climb over the hills to find, almost as if it was invisible to everyone but you

Something so lovely and heartbreaking has become of these days.
Oh Sam, just look at your window and out the mirror at what a sad, sad beautiful world we've found.


love, Sam

love, Sam

Dearest Sam,

thanks bbygrl. and in return...

 "Pirate gold isn't a thing to be hoarded or utilized. It is something to squander and throw to the four winds, for the fun of seeing the golden specs fly...we'd share it, and scatter it together"

-kate chopin

you're rich with cynical advice and i'm simply drenched in complaints, but we have to remember that life isn't a competition of happiness. just think of the dimensions of our souls that would disappear if we were constantly happy. we'd be pancakes, or worse, nothing. maybe we'd live stupidly as robots, staring at one another. no! let us wallow in our so-called "tortured souls". let us feel like dying when boys don't love us back and let us always cry over spilled milk if we need to. as long as we remember to tighten our heartstrings each night, we're sure to bounce back with that excitement and resilience that lights up our eyes. 

p.s. wanna ride bikes together again? i got me a cravin' for flushed cheeks and coffee.

Dear Sam,

I exchanged some nice words with an old friend today which reminded me of this Zora Neale Hurston quote...

She pulled in her horizon like a great fish-net. Pulled it from around the waist of the world and draped it over her shoulder, so much of life in its meshes! She called in her soul to come and see.

I know it's hard sometimes Sam. And frankly, from what I've seen so far, it doesn't get any easier. All we can do is take in the good and let the rest go.

Using a bucket to catch the fish will only weigh us down. It'll only hold us back.

no regrets,

Sam

My girl is the queen of the savages
She don't know the modern world
and its ravages
Instead of money she's
got yams and cabbages
She lives in a dome
I don't care if I never get home
My girl is the queen of the jungle folk
You should see the things
we see when we smoke
We think all of life is a funny joke
She's sharp as a tack
I don't care if I never get back
My girl is the queen of ten villages
We live on the fruits
of her pillages
She eats other queens,
she's very religious
She doesn't use a fork
I don't think I'll go back to New York

nowadays i am learning things like nothing stays hidden forever and loving really hard doesn't guarantee my telepathic messages will ever be received. 

i am learning to enjoy things like goosebumps and cranberry juice and walks and windshield wipers, but not really windshield wipers actually, just rain like always. 

things i hate are new years resolutions and hosting parties and lying and getting put on the spot and parking.

i think that i really really love dresses and english muffins and you and sophia and pine needles and kissing.

it's highly likely that i will never grow up.

Dear Sam,

You'd think the corners of your mouth would pop up when the people and places you love come back. When the familiar start to familiarize and the friendly become friendlier.

There's out and there's in. Too little and too much. And I've been down both ends of the spectrum.

I just want to be in between again. I want to find middle ground where I can be here and there but also just here.

They're analyzing me. I know cause I can feel the light burning on my back from the microscope they've put me under. And I knew I'd get here eventually. When you forget to draw your face in the morning, this is where you end up.