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My bags are packed, boxes filled with dad's old golf sweaters, picture frames with my mother's favorites (I know because she picks all the ones she looks best in.) I'm ready to leave, ready to start school again. It feels like new years eve and I'm making all these promises to myself, but lord knows I can't keep them all. I come out of hiding from my room now, and leave my door wide open, because I know my mother's ocd can hold off for a couple of hours. I still have so many things to do! So many people to see! Only Dani and Moni are here, and my dad, and my mother, and my cats...but I don't want to see them once, I want to see them a thousand times! And then a thousand times more. I miss so many people who are already gone, but I'm going to miss these ones even more. I'm not ready to leave. Isn't it strange how eager I was just a year ago? Something's changed, and I don't completely understand. As I sat and watched Arianna eat kraft mac 'n cheese right out of the pan, I could smell my mother's sadness, dripping with nostalgia. I love you love you love you. I love so many things! It doesn't show the way I'd like it to, but I hope you know I do.
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