to Sam, love Sam

Dearest Sam,

and i told him, i said,

love, love, love, let me move to the east coast and live with you. we'll be the youngest old married couple our neighbors have ever seen. i promise it would be perfect. it would save us. you could talk to me instead of yourself and we'd watch TV movies every night. we could just lie in your bed all day long. i promise i'd make you coffee, i'd get your newspaper and smile at you. all you'd have to do is smile back and maybe cut my hair when it gets so long.  you seem lonely and i seem lost, i swear it would save us.

but really i never told him that. it's all i think about, but i would never say it